Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Some thoughts on moving your/my bowels

 *lets just start this off with, if you are not a fan of TMI, please stop reading and close this tab. 

I have always been a pooper. Ever since I can remember, within minutes of eating almost anything, I have to poop. And if it something with dairy, watch out! Because I will have to go to the closest bathroom immediately.

It is definitely some kind of intolerance, most likely a genetic one because my dad and my brother are the same way. And it obviously is not the life effecting otherwise I would have sought professional medical treatment/advice by now. I did mention it to my primary care physician and her response was to cut dairy for 2 weeks and see what happens and then cut wheat for 2 weeks. Yeah, that was way too much work for me. 

While I do believe many of my "attacks", if you will, are brought on by dairy, sometimes I have them and there was no dairy to be found. 

I have pooped in many, many strange places, except my pants - but I have come close a few times. I am certainly not above pooping anywhere. For instance:

The first time I brought Ryan to Florida with me to visit my grandparents, we had been dating for about 4 years and had been engaged for about a year (so Ryan had a very good idea of my "problem"). The first night we are there, my grandparents take us to The Golden Corral. If you know what that place is, you may understand my story better, if you don't, well just think of it as a cheap colon cleanser that doesn't have to go through your insurance. My grandparents lived about 3 or 4 miles from the place, so we weren't too far. We made it about 1 mile from their house and I knew if I didn't find a bathroom in the next 30 seconds, I would be spending my second day in Florida, cleaning out my grandmom's back seat. As it was, Hurricane Charlie had hit the area a few months before so there was a lot of construction going on. The Poop Gods were in my favor that night and there, sitting lonely by itself in the middle of a flattened lot, was a construction port-a-potty.

Now port-a-potties are gross. But construction port-a-potties are on a whole new level. And imagine HAVING to use one in the dark, in a warm, humid place.

Ok, I'll stop.
In the end, my grandmom's car was spared and Ryan still married me.

I have noticed that since I have really changed my diet and been aware of what I am eating 24/7, this "problem" has gotten a little better. As in, I am not sprinting to the WC while still chewing my last bite of food. It may be all the water I am drinking too. Or probiotics.

There you have it, a little interesting piece of info on my bodily functions. And there are many more poop stories to tell. Maybe, if you like this post enough, I can make it a monthly segment? If only I were joking...

Happy Hump Day!



MSDeyle said...

I would rather have this "problem" than be constipated all the time. Silver lining, right? :)

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

laughing at the above comment...because duuuude, when I was pregnant, both times, I had like, debhilitating (freak, I can't spell that word, and don't want to look it up) constipation. It was AWFUL. I wanted to diiiiie. So I hear her. haha.

Jess @ Wrangling Chaos said...

When I was a teenager and college student I had the same problem. It wasn't pretty. And then I had kids, and didn't poop for like five years. I agree with Katie...constipation is heinous.

However. Occasionally, I'll eat something that is all kinds of bad. About a year ago, I was visiting my sister and brother in law. We'd gone to hibachi for dinner, and I seriously enjoyed some chicken with shrimp sauce.

And then we went to see a movie. I spent the movie in the bathroom, because I couldn't control it. Since then, whenever my BIL doesn't feel well, he'll text me and be all 'whoa, it was a shrimp sauce sort of day'. Nice.