Thursday, April 19, 2012


Recently, I have been faced with the topic of suffering.

First, it was in a couple daily devotional emails (Girlfriends in God) that I received that addressed the topic.

Then, my pastor spoke on it this past Sunday. We studied 1 Peter 2:18-25 which talks about our suffering and how Christ suffered for US. And, the part I think I may have missed, is that in His suffering, he trusted in the One. Pastor Chris read an article of a woman from North Korea that was falsely imprisoned at a labor camp where the suffering was so bad it is almost unimaginable that people can survive.

But they do.

And she did. And she was miraculously freed, able to escape to South Korea and eventually to the US where she testified on the atrocities that she experienced during her imprisonment.

What she also witnessed there was the love of Christ by the Christian prisoners. Those prisoners were tortured far more brutally because of their faith and their refusal to deny it.

Hearing this woman's story made me reflect on my "sufferings". It made me see how much I have to be thankful for and brought a lot of what I thought was suffering into perspective.

There are people in our town, our state, our country, our world that are suffering in ways that are far beyond our comprehension. I can only pray that they have the hope of eternal life and the peace of knowing Christ as their savior.

What prompted me to write this, since you know I am so behind on the real "important posts" - monthly baby updates and such, is my anxiety. It has been at an all time high these past couple weeks. Because of school, work, life.

And then I start getting these messages, one after another, on suffering.  I began to worry that I am being prepared to suffer in some horrific way. Whether it be to have something happen to Avery or Ryan or anyone of my family or friends and in turn cause ME to suffer. It is like going to the dentist, knowing you have to get your tooth pulled and the pain your will endure after.

How selfish, right? How is it going to hurt ME? How will I feel? How would I ever get through anything worse then I already have?

But is SO not about that...about ME.  What I should be thinking is how I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me. And how will MY sufferings reflect Jesus' love for me so that others may see it clearly.

I know that God only gives us what we can handle. And what we can't? He is there is carry us through.

Even so, I keep asking myself, "what is God trying to tell me in this?" because I KNOW that there is a reason I am being shown this particular topic.

Instead of sitting around, worrying, making myself sick with anxiety, over something I have NO control over, I am choosing to trust Him.

To relieve my anxiety.

To protect my family and friends.

To help me lean on Him and to trust Him and to rely on my faith that He will be there no matter what happens.

Maybe He is teaching me so I am able to help others that are suffering. Maybe to use my past sufferings as a testimony to my faith. Maybe to be more compassionate to those that have suffered and chose a different path to take instead of the one with The One who saves.

My wonderful aunt, an amazing Christian woman, sent me this verse via text on Tuesday, just when I needed it:
When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,
Your consolations delight my soul.
Psalm 94:19

I cannot tell you how many times these past few days I have opened that text up and read it. 

I am not in anyway trying to minimalize <not a word spell check? too bad.> my sufferings I have experienced so far in life. Because I have learned some lessons from them that, if I had not gone through those experiences, I may have never gained the knowledge and understanding and wisdom I have today. 

So while writing this, getting it out, has helped a bit, I know that it is Christ that I need to lean on to get me through this anxiety. 

You can't go through life waiting for the next bad thing to happen. That is no way to live. I have way too many good, great, amazing things to be thankful for. 

But I do know that when there is a trial or suffering I must endure, I know who the protector of my heart is.

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us--they help us learn to endure. 
Endurance then develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation” 
(Romans 5:3-5 NLT)


Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Why I read blogs...

I cannot really remember when or why I started reading blogs. I'll blame it on the mommy brain overload I got goin' on right now for the lack of recollection.

I am pretty sure it was just through a google search of pregnancy that I stumbled on some of my now favorite blogs. From there, I "found" other bloggers/blogs I liked and so the story goes.

A lot of these blogs were a comfort while being pregnant, knowing what I was experiencing was totally normal, although seemed so very strange.

Now, as a mama, finding other blogs that have children the same age or mom's that are working or trying to lose weight helps me feel a little connected to the world outside of the house, my workplace, and school.

What I like about blogs is that there is, on some level, an aspect to relate to. If not, well then I don't read it and move on the next one.

What I Do NOT like about blogs:

Blogs that are shamelessly filled with ads and sponsors. And even worse, POST after POST that just announce  yet another sponsor. I don't read a blog to see who is paying money to have their name dropped. I read it because I like the writing, the funny stories, the wisdom, learning experiences, photos...people I could see myself being friends with in "real life".

Don't get me wrong, I understand a girl is just trying to make some extra moolah doing something she likes.  But it gets old after awhile. It's like Pinterest now with all the stupid ads. Ruining a good thing.

I am more likely to check out a sponsor by seeing an ad in a blogger's sidebar or, like Kelle Hampton does, a small blurb at the end of her interesting, heart felt, lovely image filled post. That is much more attractive then say, being shoved down one's throat.

And I'm not hatin' in any way. I didn't start this blog to make money or rack up readers or page views. I did it to keep a record of our life and maybe make some "friends" along the way. I'd like Avery to be able to look back and see how much I love her, from the very beginning. Who knows what the technology will be in 2 decades anyway.

So with that, I am signing off - lots of work sitting here, calling my name!


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

My Sincerest Apologies!

I have been quite neglectful of this little blog.

My intentions are always the best. Wonderful, hilarious (at least to me) posts swirling in my head whenever I am no where near a computer - or usually driving. Then as soon as I sit down, nothing. zilch. zero.

My excuse reason?

I am in my last semester of college (for my undergrad, yes, I like to do things the hard way sometimes - as in work full time, school full time, husband, baby, 3 dogs)

And now I am in my last month of the last semester.

Things are getting a little hairy. And I am not just talking about my upper lip (which I did take care of this past weekend because I think A was getting me confused with daddy, but since she only says "Da-da", never "mama" in my presence, I am just making an educated guess).

Projects are due, final papers are due, presentations are due. due. due. due.

Oh, and then there is work. Where I have a TON of work DUE and am serious lacking the motivation to get it done.

I have not posted Avery's 11 month post yet, although it is sitting in my drafts folder...She has been 11 months for 10 days now.


So please remain faithful my sweet (5) followers! I promise I will be back with a vengeance once this school thing is over in a month. Maybe I will even post daily...but don't count on it.

If you are thinking of it, send some matches or lighters my way because I really need to light this fire under my ass.

But here is a sweet photo of my girl that my best friend (and amazing photographer) took for Avery's 1st birthday (Oh, shiz, I forgot to mention that too? yeah, I am trying to plan her first bday party which is at the end of April....mutha effer....)