I am a working mom.

This post is a preface to the post I wrote for Elizabeth at E, Myself and I and her "Making it work as a working mom" series. I wrote about Making Time for Yourself as a working mom and it should go up sometime this week, I will definitely link to it from here. 

It is funny to me to label myself that way because I do not know any moms who do not work. My mom did not work outside our home, but she worked her butt off every day to take care of us. I give a lot of credit to moms who stay home with their kids. It took me some time, but I have slowly come to the realization that it is not something I would be good at doing.

Before I was pregnant with Avery, I was positive I had to work. When I was pregnant with her, I had every intention of going back to work. (and I was told when I returned from maternity leave there was a bet that I would not come back- hahaha! I do love to prove people wrong) I took 4 months off after she was born and by the third month, I was itching to get back to my office, my job, my responsibilities outside of feeding, changing, clothing a baby and trying to keep our house from being condemned (thank you baby jesus for my husband). I don't know what kind of person that makes me and honestly, does it really matter? People will judge you regardless of who you are or what you do.

It was about a month into being back to work full time and I started to get this overwhelming need to stay home. And for a good year or so, it was a desire that consumed me. It made me resent my husband because I thought "if only he made more money" and it made me resent my friends that stayed home. I prayed about it daily, sometimes hourly. I asked the Lord to make this happen. I gave it to Him and worked very hard in keeping my faith that He would do what was best for me and for my family.

As you may have realized, this prayer was not answered. At least in the way I thought I wanted. What He did was reveal to me what I may think is best, isn't always. A real epiphany, I know. I think I need to work. I need something outside of our house and our family to keep me fulfilled. I love my child but could I spend 24 hours/ 7 days a week with her? No. Well, I could but I don't think it would be good for either of us. Avery loves spending the day with my sister. She asks for her every night. They are really close. My sister loves kids and has the patience of a saint.

I never want this to come across that my child is not enough, or being a mom is not enough, or those that do find complete fulfillment in being a homemaker and staying home with their kids are weird or wrong. Because none of that is true. Avery is more than I could have dreamed of or asked for and being a mom is the best thing I have ever done, hands down. I have a suspicion that most people would not find my job, working with cars and car paint, particularly fulfilling. And that is OK. Different strokes for different folks, or something like that.

The thing is, this "thing" we are doing, being moms, is every contradiction possible. But we are doing it, and doing it our own way, finding our way.

So a fist bump to you mamas that stay home and to you mamas that have a job outside your home. We all have one big thing in common, we are mothers.

xoxo

Some thoughts on driving.

I want to write this out while I am still annoyed as shit. Because writing with emotion can be way better than writing just because. At least for me. And hopefully for you reading this.

As you may have heard me say/complain about before, I have a lengthy commute to/from work. It is 25 miles each way. Half is on major roads and the other half is back roads. In the morning it takes me about 35 minutes, door to door. And that is at 5:30am. In the afternoon it takes about 45 minutes, around 2:30pm.

In that time, and for the past 5 years of this commute, I have been able to compile a list of drivers/driving habits that make me go bat shit crazy on the reg.

1. Prius drivers. Read this article. Or this one.

2. Minivan drivers

3. People who talk/text on cell phones while driving

4. People who talk/text on cell phones while sitting at a stop sign/red light and then do not realize the light has changed and it is their turn to go.

5. Delaware drivers

6. People who drive the speed limit or below.

7. People who ride in the left hand lane on a 4 lane highway, doing the speed limit. Get out of the fast lane, moron. 

8. People who drive with both feet causing their brake lights to always be engaged.

9. People who do not use turn signals.

10.  When two lanes merge into one and the someone drives right in the middle so no one can get around them.

First edition to the Race Car Diaries:

Today, on my way to work, it was a pretty smooth ride for the first leg of my commute - down the major highways. People either did the same speed as me or got over in the right hand lane. I did not encounter any Prius drivers and it is too early for most minivan drivers. The "fun" part of my commute started when I turned on to the back road and got behind a Subaru. This driver did The speed limit (40) or five BELOW. While there are some stretches of the back road that I could have safely passed this moron, the deer at this time of the morning are as erratic as Charlie Sheen. Needless to say, I suffered the rest of the way to work and I would have been 10 minutes earlier if it wasn't for Law Abiding citizen Steve in his Subaru. Let's hope my drive home isn't as awesome.

xoxo

Fight Club/Potty Training

via

pretty much the same thing in my book.

Just in case you are not familiar with the rules of Fight Club:

1st RULE: You do not talk about FIGHT CLUB. 
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about FIGHT CLUB. 

I took this approach to our latest potty training adventure. (We attempted it once before back in May and it ended with double tub shits, both on the husband's bath nights, so we called it off before I was cleaning up tub poo and puke) I decided to break the rule as I believe we are past the worst of it (please don't jinx me)

Sure, I am guilty of shamelessly posting a picture of Avery on the potty (If you scroll back through my instagram, I believe there may be One) and maybe a handful of facebook status updates, of which I cannot find so maybe not. But do I think that everyone needs or wants to know the status of my kid's bladder and bowels for a week straight?

Nope.

I have found the less I talk about it, the better it goes. Word to the wise.

Two weeks ago, Avery decided she did not want to wear diapers. She kicked and screamed when we tried to put a new one on. So after my sister called me that first Monday morning, saying she could not get Avery to stop fighting her, I told her just to put her undies on. And that was that.

I went home and collected all the diapers around the house and told both the husband and my sister that this was it. No turning back.

When you won't go in a diaper, you are not left with very many options.

Yup, there were accidents. But they got cleaned up and we moved on. There has not been any shit in the tub so I am taking that as she was just ready now. We did it on HER terms and that is how it had to go to be successful.

We do not do diapers at night, it was undies or bust in the Gibson house. She peed the bed for the first 3-4 nights but has been dry since. Although, the past 4 mornings we woke to a Brownie surprise in her undies. That is fun. No need for coffee those mornings. Hope you were not thinking of eating a brownie today. Sorry.

The funny thing is, she won't go if we ask her. She won't go if we tell her. But if we set the timer on our phones and play the Marimba, she will get up from whatever she is doing and go to the bathroom. Strange. But hey, whatever works kid. 2 years old and already a slave to technology.

We have conquered the public bathroom (she does not like loud noises so the flushing really freaked her out and having her hands cover her ears made for an already difficult toilet balancing act even worse). And I have had to let a lot of my OCDs go because I am certain there is just no possible way to bring a toddler into a restroom and expect them not to touch/lick/roll in/sit in something gross.

While potty training is no joke, I still don't understand why some parents choose to broadcast every whiz, every dump, every NOT dump, every accident. Hopefully your kid will not embarrass easily when one of his friends finds all the social media posts about his or her potty training past. And in case you forgot, potty training is just one of those parenting tasks. I just had to suck it up and do it.

*And Avery, if/when you find this post, I hope it is not too embarrassing for you. I am quite sure I will be embarrassing you far greater than this in life then an analogy to brownies. You better thank your Aunt for bearing the brunt of your potty training days, even though I doubt she will ever let you forget it.*

I have no advice to offer or words of wisdom to bestow. Just a quick update other than me losing weight.

So cheers to you potty pee-ers and poopers and your mamas and daddies that wipe your bum!

xoxo

3 Months In

So this past Monday, 8/12, was the 3 month mark of how long I have been working towards losing weight and getting fit and healthy.

Also, last week, I lost another 2lbs which brings my total weight loss to 25lbs.

HALF WAY THERE!!!

Weight Watchers, spin, running, and body pump. The {not so} secret to my success. And some motivation and determination directly from God himself. Because Lord knows, I couldn't do this on my own.

Ok, enough of all that...I'm sure you just want to see pictures. I am so glad I got the nerve to take a "before" photo. And I have been sitting here staring at these for 10 minutes now. Seeing the changes side by side is crazy.

Here it is for all internet history:

Here is to another 3 months of success!

xoxo

Numberless Triumphs

I thought I better write something and actually post it before anyone sends a search and rescue out for me. (Note: If I do appear to be missing, I will be hiding in the closet inhaling a bag of double stuff oreos or Keebler Soft Batch cookies although they are harder to find. Giant, I am looking at you.) I am happy to say that I do not remember the last time I had an Oreo. Not to say I do not want one. But this change in thinking and attitude towards food that I am going through has really helped me see that Oreos are not something I can bring in my house without eating the whole bag in 3 or less days. By myself.


That brings me to the point of this post. Or maybe it doesn't. Either way here is it:

When losing weight it is really, really, REALLY easy to get caught up in numbers. The numbers on the scale. The numbers of your measurements. The numbers of points you can have - or go over- every day. The number of RPMS/watts/calories/distance/time when spinning, or exercising in general. And I like numbers. Especially even ones. It could be OCD if I let it.

Back to the subject at hand.

I decided to make a list of good things that I have noticed about losing weight that do not have anything to do with numbers. I believe the healthy living/diet world like to call these Non-Scale Victories. But  I am going to call them Numberless Triumphs. Original, I know. Good ole Thesaurus for you.

I like that:
1. my arms do not rub my love handles/muffin top when I walk.
2. my thighs to not hit my gut when I spin any more.
3. my bar does not graze my FUPA in Body Pump.
4. I do not snore like a man anymore. So does The Husband.
5. I can wear button up shirts again. And button them. And not use a safety pin at my boobs.
6. I can wrap my bath towel all the way around myself.
7. my skin as cleared up because I am eating a lot better and drinking gallons of water every day.
8. when I run, I can run every single interval for the time without stopping or slowing down.
9. I can cross my legs again. I am sure other people appreciate this as well.
10. my rings are slide easily on and off my fingers.
11. clothes I have not worn since before we got married fit better now then when I first got them.
12. I am stronger. When I first started Body Pump, I could barely do 1 push up. Now I can do all 3 sets.
13. the husband started going to the gym too. He sees what I am doing and it is motivating him to get his butt in shape.
14. I sleep better and have more energy during the day.
15. when I put clothes on, I feel good instead of wanting to jump out the window.

I am sure there are many more I am forgetting but I am trying to get this written and posted during my lunch.

And because I know some people just want to see the numbers - hey remember I work in corporate America, I know how that goes - I'll give you some of those.

July 26 - lost 1.5lbs
August 2 - lost 1lb but lost inches too (thank you body pump) 5.5 inches to be exact. So I guess I should be a little details about that:
Hips: -1"
Arms: -1.5"
Waist: -1.5"
Bust: -0.5" I just cant get rid of these knockers
Thighs: -1"

That is about it for now. Still killing it at the gym. I have been racking up the Activity points like a mofo.  I am considering getting certified to be a spin instructor. There are some sucky instructors at my gym so I know if they can do, I can definitely do it. And getting paid to work out? Uh, yes. We will see, just keep praying about it.

xoxo