Monday, April 14, 2014

A little late night action

I really have to write this one down while it is still fresh in my mind.

As we are all very aware of, in most of the country the weather was gorgeous yesterday. Sunny, high 70’s, a breeze. It was like Mother Nature’s version of make-up sex after a nasty, brutal winter.

We took full advantage of her guilt and spent just about every second outside. Cleaning up the yard, walking to the playground, flying a kite. We made dinner early, got Avery to bed early (especially necessary since she didn't take a nap), and we were in bed by 9. It was a good day.

Sometime in the middle of the night, while finally enjoying a deep sleep that does not come easily in the 3rd trimester, a small hand creeps around my neck and I hear: “Here, Mama” as Avery is handing me something.

I never even heard her get up or come into our bed so I was a little disoriented when she just appeared, handing me something. I asked her what it was as I took it from her. I swear she said “Spiderman” and in my half conscience state I was thinking it was a Spiderman or batman eraser that she had found in her bed because like a lot of toddlers, her bed is her hoarding ground and you could probably survive the apocalypse if you took shelter there.  

As I groggily fumbled around to see what it was she handed me, I could feel that it was only about a square inch or so in size. Because I thought it was an eraser, I wasn't surprised that it was a little squishy.  In the light of her monitor, I could see that it in fact was not a Spiderman eraser…so that must mean that it was Batman and she was just confused.

Something made me put it to my nose and sniff.

It was not an eraser.

I jumped out of bed so quick – well as quick as a 7 month pregnant woman can do so – and went into our bathroom and turned on the light.

My sweet, adorable almost 3 year old had so generously shared with me a quarter size turd. Right there in my bed, in the middle of the night. A night we were all expecting to sleep soundly, in our own beds.

Now that I was fully awake, I said “Avery! Where did you get this?”
Her response, “Uh, my butt, Mom.”

So then I made her get up, sit on the toilet, change her undies (that contained a couple smaller rabbit turds), scrubbed her butt and washed/scrubbed her hands and put her back to bed in her bed.

Once I got her settled, since she was upset about pooping her pants, I went back to bed and laid there for a minute, until Ryan said, “Avery, where did get this? – Uh, my butt, mom”. And we both laid there and laughed until we fell back asleep.

Because what else can you really do when you are woken in the middle of the night by an almost-3-year-old turd burglar?


Kristen said...

BAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm sorry- but not. I laughed out loud. Oh, kids. That's hilarious. Hope you're hanging in there! (and hope I get to see you at Providence soon!) :)

Sarah said...

I was not expecting that. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT! Soooo funny (and sooo glad it wasn't me lol).

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

seriously. holding poop in your hands is the worst. but every parent has done it. If they haven't, they're lying.

kerwin said...

Hilarious! At least it wasn't from someone else's butt!