A little late night action

I really have to write this one down while it is still fresh in my mind.

As we are all very aware of, in most of the country the weather was gorgeous yesterday. Sunny, high 70’s, a breeze. It was like Mother Nature’s version of make-up sex after a nasty, brutal winter.

We took full advantage of her guilt and spent just about every second outside. Cleaning up the yard, walking to the playground, flying a kite. We made dinner early, got Avery to bed early (especially necessary since she didn't take a nap), and we were in bed by 9. It was a good day.

Sometime in the middle of the night, while finally enjoying a deep sleep that does not come easily in the 3rd trimester, a small hand creeps around my neck and I hear: “Here, Mama” as Avery is handing me something.

I never even heard her get up or come into our bed so I was a little disoriented when she just appeared, handing me something. I asked her what it was as I took it from her. I swear she said “Spiderman” and in my half conscience state I was thinking it was a Spiderman or batman eraser that she had found in her bed because like a lot of toddlers, her bed is her hoarding ground and you could probably survive the apocalypse if you took shelter there.  

As I groggily fumbled around to see what it was she handed me, I could feel that it was only about a square inch or so in size. Because I thought it was an eraser, I wasn't surprised that it was a little squishy.  In the light of her monitor, I could see that it in fact was not a Spiderman eraser…so that must mean that it was Batman and she was just confused.

Something made me put it to my nose and sniff.

It was not an eraser.

I jumped out of bed so quick – well as quick as a 7 month pregnant woman can do so – and went into our bathroom and turned on the light.

My sweet, adorable almost 3 year old had so generously shared with me a quarter size turd. Right there in my bed, in the middle of the night. A night we were all expecting to sleep soundly, in our own beds.

Now that I was fully awake, I said “Avery! Where did you get this?”

Her response, “Uh, my butt, Mom.”

So then I made her get up, sit on the toilet, change her undies (that contained a couple smaller rabbit turds), scrubbed her butt and washed/scrubbed her hands and put her back to bed in her bed.

Once I got her settled, since she was upset about pooping her pants, I went back to bed and laid there for a minute, until Ryan said, “Avery, where did get this? – Uh, my butt, mom”. And we both laid there and laughed until we fell back asleep.

Because what else can you really do when you are woken in the middle of the night by an almost-3-year-old turd burglar?

7 months/28 weeks : 12 weeks/ 84 days remaining

I’m going to try to squeeze this post out quick, in between my many to dos at work.

So today I am 7 months pregnant. For those of you not keeping track that is 28 weeks. Which means I have 12 weeks or 84 days left. It seems like forever away until I think start thinking of all the things I need to accomplish at home and work before ORG makes his way into the world.

His room is a disaster. Since we moved Avery to her big girl room, the baby room as become the dumping ground for everything else. Now I am trying to go through and get rid of all the unnecessary and find a place for the necessary. (a bit off topic: The Container Store opened near my house and my OCD is urging me to go) Anywho, his crib is in pieces because my brother is going to paint it and I have to get it to him sometime soon. I am not painting the walls, sticking with the ever-so-trendy gray that I picked when it was Avery’s room. I did find wallpaper to use on one wall and that makes me feel a little bit more accomplished. But who the hell am I kidding? I still have to buy it and pester Ryan to hang it. I feel like I learned my lesson about buying expensive crib bedding sets. The quilt was never used, the skirt was only used for a few months until we had to lower the mattress so low that it looked ridiculous. And really, it was all too matchy, matchy. I will pack it up in one of those vacuum storage bags and save it for Avery. Maybe she will like bees when she has a baby.For now, it will be sheets and swaddles.

At my 28 week appointment, my Doctor told me to keep track of fetal movement, to look for about 10 kicks in 2 hours. I had to stifle a laugh because this kid never stops moving. I can count 10 kicks in 20 minutes. A lot of the time, I feel like my lungs and stomach are being pushed up into throat while my bladder is constantly being massaged to the point that I am seriously considering wearing diapers from here on out. This morning when I was getting dressed, I glanced in the mirror and it almost made me cry. Not out of joy or sadness, but out of pure fear that I just can’t imagine this belly getting bigger. And we all know that in the next 12 weeks, it will.

I never understood why pregnant women mourn the loss of the view of their feet. I am more worried about the fact I cannot see my vagina any more. Blind shaving is dangerous business. I guess maybe it is better to not be able to see all the strange things going on down there. Yeah, I could get a mirror but I haven’t reached that point of desperation yet.

It is getting harder and harder to get to spin class, although I do. I’ve been averaging 4x a week and it makes all the difference when I exercise. I cannot do some of the positions like jumps or hovering so I have just modified it to what I am comfortable doing. If I am bent over for too long, I start getting cramps and/or want to pee. But I am going to stick with it for as long as I possibly can. Even if I just go and sit on the bike and pedal, keeping the habit and routine is important. I am still squeezing into my regular workout clothes (apologies to anyone who has to see me) but I cannot justify spending money on something I will most likely only wear for 10 more weeks. So squeeze it will be.I seem to do a lot of squeezing these days.

Avery is starting to ask when she can meet her brother. She likes to lift up my shirt and “look” in my belly button at him. I swear whenever we are lying in bed and she starts talking, he gets all squirmy. Of all I am excited about from this pregnancy, I am most excited to see these two together. We talk about him daily and while I know she does not “get” the full impact of what this new life will have on HER life, she is excited.

In 2 weeks Avery will be 3. I cannot believe it. And if it is true that 3’s are worse than 2’s, we are so F$%^. I am given very little say in her outfit choices. It is ALWAYS a dress. ALWAYS. And if you follow me on IG, you know about the yellow shoes. The yellow shoes that we regularly debate the need to wear IN bed, and agree to leave them on her dresser while she sleeps. Her hair has 3 options: A messy white-trash mess hanging in her face, collecting food from day (her favorite), a Rapunzel/Tangled do (one braid down the back), or Doc McStuffins (2 pig tail braids). Sometimes she allows headbands (when I can find them to fit her gigantic noggin’) and sometimes barrettes. I am learning, in my tired state, to reserve energy to fight about the important stuff like hygiene and health these days. She prefers daddy to me most of the time. And most of the time that is OK with me. I’d much rather lay on the couch then get you your 10^th cup of water or look for the spider you swear is in your bed. Daddy is very good at those chores.

So I went over my time limit to write this and I have to end my rambling. Plus my 25^th bathroom break for the day is calling/kicking.

Poor me.

xoxo