Midweek Confessions

I figured that after a month of unintentional silence, I should probably post something...and what better way to start then linking up with E @ E, Myself and I for some Midweek Confessions!

Here I go...

*I still have to write/publish Avery's 11 month AND 12 month posts...oops!

*I did not get any decent pictures of her 1st birthday party and I am so so bummed because I worked so hard and had some really good decorations and party favors, if I do say so myself.

*It has been a month since said party above, and I still have not written thank you notes. Goal for this weekend!

*Baby fever is BAD up in here! And all these people having babies lately is not helping it. At all! But I/we can't right now. Truthfully, I am just not ready to be pregnant again. I have 50+ pounds still to lose (and that is not "baby weight", it's fatty-eats-too-much-and-does-not-exercise-enough weight). I keep promising myself, next summer so that gives me a year to lose the weight. I know what I have to do, but actually DOING it is the hard part. Oh and the JCrew baby line, almost made me go home and throw all our baby "plans" out the window!

*I'm kinda freaking that I only have one class left to take this summer to complete my college degree. I've been doing this for so long, I am not sure what I will do with myself without the business and stress of school.

*I am becoming addicted to coffee. I was never ever ever a coffee drinker and this past year has either changed my taste buds or made me realized the need to function on a lot less sleep, or both. I only have one cup in the morning when I am nodding off at my desk at work.

*Waking up at 5am (like I do every weekday for work) and going downstairs to find sick dog diarrhea ALL OVER THE KITCHEN made me consider dropping all 3 pugs off at the SPCA on my way to work. But then I realized I would have to change the name of this blog (again). So I decided against it and have banished them to the backyard where they can hershey squirt where ever they please. 

I know I have much more to confess but I'll throw those up to God for now.

xoxo

Suffering

Recently, I have been faced with the topic of suffering.

First, it was in a couple daily devotional emails (Girlfriends in God) that I received that addressed the topic.

Then, my pastor spoke on it this past Sunday. We studied 1 Peter 2:18-25 which talks about our suffering and how Christ suffered for US. And, the part I think I may have missed, is that in His suffering, he trusted in the One. Pastor Chris read an article of a woman from North Korea that was falsely imprisoned at a labor camp where the suffering was so bad it is almost unimaginable that people can survive.

But they do.

And she did. And she was miraculously freed, able to escape to South Korea and eventually to the US where she testified on the atrocities that she experienced during her imprisonment.

What she also witnessed there was the love of Christ by the Christian prisoners. Those prisoners were tortured far more brutally because of their faith and their refusal to deny it.

Hearing this woman's story made me reflect on my "sufferings". It made me see how much I have to be thankful for and brought a lot of what I thought was suffering into perspective.

There are people in our town, our state, our country, our world that are suffering in ways that are far beyond our comprehension. I can only pray that they have the hope of eternal life and the peace of knowing Christ as their savior.

What prompted me to write this, since you know I am so behind on the real "important posts" - monthly baby updates and such, is my anxiety. It has been at an all time high these past couple weeks. Because of school, work, life.

And then I start getting these messages, one after another, on suffering.  I began to worry that I am being prepared to suffer in some horrific way. Whether it be to have something happen to Avery or Ryan or anyone of my family or friends and in turn cause ME to suffer. It is like going to the dentist, knowing you have to get your tooth pulled and the pain your will endure after.

How selfish, right? How is it going to hurt ME? How will I feel? How would I ever get through anything worse then I already have?

But is SO not about that...about ME.  What I should be thinking is how I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me. And how will MY sufferings reflect Jesus' love for me so that others may see it clearly.

I know that God only gives us what we can handle. And what we can't? He is there is carry us through.

Even so, I keep asking myself, "what is God trying to tell me in this?" because I KNOW that there is a reason I am being shown this particular topic.

Instead of sitting around, worrying, making myself sick with anxiety, over something I have NO control over, I am choosing to trust Him.

To relieve my anxiety.

To protect my family and friends.

To help me lean on Him and to trust Him and to rely on my faith that He will be there no matter what happens.

Maybe He is teaching me so I am able to help others that are suffering. Maybe to use my past sufferings as a testimony to my faith. Maybe to be more compassionate to those that have suffered and chose a different path to take instead of the one with The One who saves.

My wonderful aunt, an amazing Christian woman, sent me this verse via text on Tuesday, just when I needed it:

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,

Your consolations delight my soul.

Psalm 94:19

I cannot tell you how many times these past few days I have opened that text up and read it. 

I am not in anyway trying to minimalize <not a word spell check? too bad.> my sufferings I have experienced so far in life. Because I have learned some lessons from them that, if I had not gone through those experiences, I may have never gained the knowledge and understanding and wisdom I have today. 

So while writing this, getting it out, has helped a bit, I know that it is Christ that I need to lean on to get me through this anxiety. 

You can't go through life waiting for the next bad thing to happen. That is no way to live. I have way too many good, great, amazing things to be thankful for. 

But I do know that when there is a trial or suffering I must endure, I know who the protector of my heart is.

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us--they help us learn to endure. 

Endurance then develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation” 

(Romans 5:3-5 NLT)

xoxo

Why I read blogs...

I cannot really remember when or why I started reading blogs. I'll blame it on the mommy brain overload I got goin' on right now for the lack of recollection.

I am pretty sure it was just through a google search of pregnancy that I stumbled on some of my now favorite blogs. From there, I "found" other bloggers/blogs I liked and so the story goes.

A lot of these blogs were a comfort while being pregnant, knowing what I was experiencing was totally normal, although seemed so very strange.

Now, as a mama, finding other blogs that have children the same age or mom's that are working or trying to lose weight helps me feel a little connected to the world outside of the house, my workplace, and school.

What I like about blogs is that there is, on some level, an aspect to relate to. If not, well then I don't read it and move on the next one.

What I Do NOT like about blogs:

Blogs that are shamelessly filled with ads and sponsors. And even worse, POST after POST that just announce  yet another sponsor. I don't read a blog to see who is paying money to have their name dropped. I read it because I like the writing, the funny stories, the wisdom, learning experiences, photos...people I could see myself being friends with in "real life".

Don't get me wrong, I understand a girl is just trying to make some extra moolah doing something she likes.  But it gets old after awhile. It's like Pinterest now with all the stupid ads. Ruining a good thing.

I am more likely to check out a sponsor by seeing an ad in a blogger's sidebar or, like Kelle Hampton does, a small blurb at the end of her interesting, heart felt, lovely image filled post. That is much more attractive then say, being shoved down one's throat.

And I'm not hatin' in any way. I didn't start this blog to make money or rack up readers or page views. I did it to keep a record of our life and maybe make some "friends" along the way. I'd like Avery to be able to look back and see how much I love her, from the very beginning. Who knows what the technology will be in 2 decades anyway.

So with that, I am signing off - lots of work sitting here, calling my name!

xoxo

My Sincerest Apologies!

I have been quite neglectful of this little blog.

My intentions are always the best. Wonderful, hilarious (at least to me) posts swirling in my head whenever I am no where near a computer - or usually driving. Then as soon as I sit down, nothing. zilch. zero.

My excuse reason?

I am in my last semester of college (for my undergrad, yes, I like to do things the hard way sometimes - as in work full time, school full time, husband, baby, 3 dogs)

And now I am in my last month of the last semester.

Things are getting a little hairy. And I am not just talking about my upper lip (which I did take care of this past weekend because I think A was getting me confused with daddy, but since she only says "Da-da", never "mama" in my presence, I am just making an educated guess).

Projects are due, final papers are due, presentations are due. due. due. due.

Oh, and then there is work. Where I have a TON of work DUE and am serious lacking the motivation to get it done.

I have not posted Avery's 11 month post yet, although it is sitting in my drafts folder...She has been 11 months for 10 days now.

Oh.Em.Geeeeee!!!

So please remain faithful my sweet (5) followers! I promise I will be back with a vengeance once this school thing is over in a month. Maybe I will even post daily...but don't count on it.

If you are thinking of it, send some matches or lighters my way because I really need to light this fire under my ass.

But here is a sweet photo of my girl that my best friend (and amazing photographer) took for Avery's 1st birthday (Oh, shiz, I forgot to mention that too? yeah, I am trying to plan her first bday party which is at the end of April....mutha effer....)

xoxo

A Few Things Since I am a Little Fired Up this Morning

And no, I am not drunk. Just a little irritated. annoyed. fed-up.

1. After I read Susan's post about Invisible Children and watched the Kony2012 video, I was moved, disturbed, and honestly, embarrassed that I was not aware of this horrible, disgusting monster and what he has been doing for decades!!! (Even though I now vaguely remember Katie's blog post about IC - which once I looked it up to get the link realized it happens to also be one of her posts that really spoke to my heart and has helped to change my perspective on this life I am living and Who/what I am living it for.)

So what did I do? I shared the link on Facebook, I re-posted Snooki's post on Instagram, I told my family about it last night at dinner.

And the responses I received? Likes om my posts on FB and Instagram and my family had almost the same reaction I did and they just did.not.know! But then I see one of my "friends" post something about "doing your research" on IC and  Kony 2012 before posting more...this person is ALWAYS bringing up the negative on anything they can. It is like this person gets a thrill out of putting others or their ideas down. For the most part, I just ignore the ignorance, but this time? It hit a nerve. (and maybe I need to unfriend this tumor on my FB page)

Yes, there will always be haters on  anything - whether good or bad, right or wrong. But this gigantic, enormous problem that has been going on in Uganda for over TWO DECADES seems to be beyond hating on. And yes, by hating on the organization that supports the capture and removal of Joseph Kony and supports the freedom of innocent children being abducted, killed, abused, raped, mutilated at the hands of this beast, you are hating these also.

What I want to say to this FB "friend"/hater: "Before you proclaim other's "ignorance", you may just want to check your own." Bitch.

2. For all that is holy, if you want to drive 5mph UNDER the speed limit, please be considerate of those that DON'T - and pull over to let them pass. And it only adds to the frustration when you are driving a BMW M series roadster with the vanity license plate: BOND007. I am pretty sure James did not drive 5 UNDER the speed limit. Ever. In fact, I think he may be a bit embarrassed to know a fool like you was repen' him like that.

3. For all of you readers (to the few and brave enough to read this little blog - and !gasp! return to read more!) who have been eagerly anticipating the reveal of my vanity license plate...it was denied by the lovely (and ever incompetent) Pennsylvania Department of Transportation - or as us lovely PAers like to call it, when cursing yet another pothole/crappy road, PennDOT.

Oh, you want to know what it was going to be?

As an ode to one of my favorite characters, Chunk, from one of my favorite movies ever, The Goonies, it was going to say 

"U TURD"

But apparently that was not appropriate according to PennDOT. Maybe they were afraid it would insight road rage when passing said driver above - in #2.

That is all I gots for now. Here is to a better, less annoying afternoon <I Hope>

Too-da-loo!

xoxo

So What Wednesday

I decided to break my non-blogging streak and link up with Shannon at L.A.I.D <heehee> again to do a So What! Wednesday.

This week I am saying So What! to:

~ So What! if I am seriously considering taking off Monday to sleep. Really. Changing the clocks really messed me up, even though it is only an hour. And since I already feel sleep deprived (and NO, it is not because of the baby - that girl sleeps 12 hours a night), I am only imagining how much more tired I will be after "losing" a hour.

~ So What! if I haven't blogged about my weight loss. Doesn't mean I am not still doing it - I am. I have just sick of talking/writing about it and am focusing more on the doing and not just Saying.

~ So What! if I got my hair cut to be able to wear it naturally curly and for the past 2 weeks, I have straightened it. Everyone needs a change now and again.

~ So What! if my feet could be mistaken for a male troll's and I am too embarrassed to take them to get a pedicure. We are going to Florida in May so maybe I will get the courage up by then to go.

~ So What! if I have used my "Spring Break" to do nothing.at.all! I think it is has given me the extra motivation I need to get this done and over with so I can spend EVERY afternoon with Avery and go to bed at a decent time (as opposed to being up late doing school work and/or going to class)

~ So What! if I started my Spring cleaning with a cleaning of my Facebook "friends", Instagram followers, blogs-I-follow. I feel a little lighter.

Go check out Shannon's SWW and all the others that have linked up too!

Happy Wednesday!

xoxo

Double Digits - 10 Months Old

Ok, Girlfriend, I am going to get this post written and published within the week of you turning 10-months-old....or maybe not...let's go for within 2 weeks of your turning 10-m/o

10 Months! That you are, but some days I think YOU think you are 10 years. And I can remember when you were just 10 days...

You make my heart swell every time I look at you. As hard as it can be to be a mama sometimes, there is not much that makes me happier.

This past month you have been a busy girl. No crawling AT.ALL. for you. Even your E.T. waddle has slowly turned into a more balanced gate and if chased, you "run". This can been seen when Daddy says "I'm gonna git you!" You take off "running" and giggling.

Speaking of Daddy - that is your favorite word to say. When I ask for you to say "Mama", I get "Dada". (Aunt Amanda did tell me you say Mama all day long when I am at work.) You say "Hi" and wave. Give kisses on demand (and have recently learned how much nicer kisses with your lips puckered are). Blow kisses (occasionally - more like when you feel like it).

Baby food is a thing of the past and you want no parts of it. You are down to 2 bottles of formula a day (and Mama cannot WAIT until you can drink milk). Most of the day you have your sippee cup filled with water in arms reach. You LOVE chicken nuggets, most fruit, animal crackers, fig newtons, pirates booty puffs, bread, meatloaf, hamburgers...pretty much anything we put in front of you except veggies.

You had your first Valentine's Day! And went on a little weekend trip with us to Annapolis. You seemed to love the hotel room and you were very good on both car rides to and from. I could never have asked for a Valentine I love more then you!

Throwing one back at Federal House

Great big hotel bed!

Came home with a new friend!

Have I mentioned before how much you love the pugs? Well, you do. A Lot! And for the most part, I think they dig you too.

So, before this post goes another week without being finished and published, I will wrap it up.

Once again, baby, you amazed us this month, like you have every other one. The milestones you hit and then soar past to the next one keep us all on our toes.

All I know is that God must really love Me to give me the awesome gift and blessing of You! Every day I am realizing what it is to be a mother and a parent and it really keeps my in awe of what our Heavenly Father did by sending His Son to die for our sins. I cannot imagine or comprehend. All I know is that I am Loved by Him and I pray that you,Avery, know that same Love.

You are kind.
You are smart.
You are important.

xoxo,
Yo Mama